It's been a week of mahjong, pool and lazing around, and I'm bored. Of course I like doing the aforementioned activities - a lot - but excess is never good. Except when it comes to cheese and strawberries, that is.

My last two interview trips were cancelled due to unprecedented events- was God trying to tell me something? Because more than I need the extra moolah, I need something to occupy myself with, and that's saying a lot.



I have an obsession with making lists; here's one of them.


Shortcut to Maturity

I will use the potent combination of logic and persuasiveness to win discussions.

I will display patience and good-naturedness when providing feedback.

I will not get jealous over others' material possessions.

I will not be affected by people with no morals.

I will exhibit immaculate social graces.

I will abide by my spending limits.

I will read the papers at least four days per week.

I will stick to this list as stringently as possible.

Remember me vowing to become ambidextrous at the start of this year? Well, it just happens so that I do need to be able to write with my left hand now! I would prefer to, anyway. Decided to have the cyst on my right elbow removed, so writing hurts a little now. And as you might have guessed, I still can't write with Lefty.



Met up with Lyd just now, and she bought me a bloc of my favourite Cadbury :)! Without a doubt she did that because she feels guilty that I got her a birthday present when she didn't get me one last year, haha! So transparent, so Lyd.

I guess it's apparent that I have changed quite a bit since we first entered TP, and I'm surprised to see that she is still the same.


Stepping into my first year of school, I had my head in the clouds with no aims whatsoever. All I knew was that I had to complete my course within three years; I didn't even know the minimum GPA for graduating.

The following three years then saw me undergoing major reforms; for reasons fluctuating between sheer muddle-headedness and spurts of spontaneity, I was moulded to form opinions, be engaged and pursue my ideals (this part came too late though). And I had liked it. Relished it, to be exact. Because along the way, I had gained friends who learned with me, shared with me and - hopefully - will stay with me, and for that I'm grateful.

I'm also thankful that God, despite his warped sense of humour, was kind enough to spare me some sanity in the form of two people, whose names I deign to reveal, when I felt like I was living in a world gone mad.

I hate to think that my life at TP has come to an end, but I guess the old has to make way for the new, and while current circumstances ensure that I have no illusions of my new life to come, I do have lofty aspirations. This time round, it will be different; I will bury my ego, surge ahead and, at the end of the day, keep my pride.


Now. Time to find a (temporary) job.

I promise to go running/ blading/ swimming with Mag in the very-near future. I will not be a weakling!


And in case you haven't noticed, I have created a very pretty tagboard. If you care enough to watch this space, I want to keep in touch, so yeah, drop me a note whenever.

I shall also be appearing online more often because I realise no one initiates chats with me nowadays. It could be that I am always appearing offline though. But ay, I had my reasons!

I really am a last-minute person, aren't I? Not only do I cram for exams and do projects at the eleventh hour, I even hold off leisurely stuff like schmoozing. Yeah, well, that's gonna change.




It's been a full week since I first heard the news about Clifford now. We attended his first 7 x 7 = 49 service last Saturday, which was also supposed to be his twentieth birthday.


The pain is ebbing away. As much as I would like erase all of it, a tiny part of me resists it because there is a sense of guilt in doing so. Sort of like I'm betraying him, forgetting him, even though moving on is the only way to go.

Somehow, there is solace in grieving. Perhaps it's because the sadness is the only emotion we are able to feel for him now. Or maybe it's because it is subconsciously an obligatory gesture; not being upset would not be the norm. Or everyone is a masochistic fool. Except for me, because I am more than that- I am a pretentious masochistic fool who is trying to go all psychological on you when I should be studying for tomorrow's quiz.

Anyhow, I'm cool with things now. I just hope Yi Zhong is dealing as well.




Seasons in the Sun

Goodbye to you, my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we climbed hills and trees
Learned of Love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees

Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I’ll be there

We had joy, we had fun, we had Seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just Seasons out of time

Goodbye Papa, please pray for me
I was the Black Sheep of the Family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along

Goodbye Papa, it's hard to die
When all the bird's are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little Children everywhere
When you see them I'll be there

We had joy, we had fun, we had Seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the Seasons have all gone

We had joy, we had fun, we had Seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time

Goodbye Michelle, my little one
You gave me Love and helped me find the sun
And every time when I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground

Goodbye Michelle, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there

we had joy, we had fun, we had sesons in the sun
but the hills that we climbed,are just seasons out of time

We had joy, we had fun, we had Seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song, like the Seasons, have all gone


- Westlife/ Terry Jacks

Clifford passed away on the first day of this month from brain tumour.

In the US, approximately 2000 children and adolescents younger than 20 years of age are diagnosed with malignant brain tumors each year

- Wikipedia

And the US population is 305 million. You do the math.



The news came as a shock; everyone thought everyone was kidding. I was surprised at my initial nonchalance, which had been disbelief in disguise. I had thought that Jen had been duped by Yi Zhong and Yang Xu, but his Facebook wall told me that wasn't the case. As did the photo at his wake.

Clifford was special. He still is. Not in the romantic sense, but in a way everyone who knew him could appreciate.

I can't quite muster the energy to launch into a lengthy soliloquy about what this has made me realise, but you can be sure I'll be scrambling to call on each and every friend I still care about.



When it rains, it pours.

It's like I've been a zombie all this while, shuffling along happily, completely immune and blind to the winds of change.

And now, now is when God decides that I have had my fun and smacks a talisman on my forehead. It's on my freaking forehead; I can't run and I can't hide.

We all know what happens next. I either pulverise, disintegrate into nothingness or spasm and die frothing at the mouth. I'm spoilt for choice.