Research says that the subconscious cues we pick up from others play a part in shaping our mood.

I had been in jovial company over the weekend but that didn't do anything for me. If anything, I felt worse. And God knows misery loves company- the feeling just doesn't go away.

It all boils down to my own inadequacy. Some days I feel horribly inept, and exponentially worse when I'm compared - usually by myself, but by someone nonetheless - to the happy, shiny person beside me.

Maybe that's why I pursue the things I do. Yes, I am interested in them - and more, which are sure to ensue - but learning these things also helps me prove a point that I'm desperate to acknowledge. It makes me feel better about myself, that somehow I am worth more because I can cook/blade/guess who's my partner in Bridge.

Ah, dark days.