I had a rare case of insomnia last night. I went to bed around 3 15 - 45 minutes earlier than my usual bedtime these days and 2 hours later than what I had intended - and lay tossing and turning in bed for 3 hours. My head spun every time I closed my eyes and tried to relax for the first couple of hours or so.

Something's very wrong with me these days.

I can hear a few of you going "More like since forever," but I'm not gonna bother myself with what you think because that's your problem and you're still putting up with me aren't you?

I mean physically; my bio-clock is whacked, my stomach acts up every few days, I get twisted nightmares (not physical, but yeah) ... What gives?

Well, at least those few hours didn't go to waste completely. I thought about how I would plan my 21st if I celebrated it with more than Tonberry and decided that the theme would be along the lines of Casino Royale. That way, people can entertain themselves!

I also thought about how I'm gonna spend my holidays but I'm not letting you in on my plans just yet. I don't want anyone to say it's just all talk, y'know.

Someone once tried to confuse/enlighten us with the line, "The more I know, the more I know that I do not know."

That makes obvious sense to the humble man.

I have a huge problem with decision-making. Thank God for hunger, otherwise I'd probably take an hour to decide between beef noodles and laksa.

Anyway, I've been contemplating switching over to WordPress. I've already created an account, imported my entries and even blogged a bit there but I just can't bear to leave this blogskin! Very shallow, I know, considering the many widgets WordPress has but hey, a blog's about expressing yourself, and blogskins play a part in that! Case in point: my skin's kinda plain and so am I.

So. How???!?!



It's almost funny how people do themselves in. It's a widespread phenomenon, and it also happens to be deeply intrinsic to my personality.

Why do we do such things? We know it's a stupid idea, we know we'll get crap for it, but we still go ahead and do it anyway. And I'm not talking about situations in which the alternatives lead to a more gruesome death - I'm talking about times when we actually have a chance of making it out alive. It's like we enjoy blowing ourselves up!

This weird behavior might have something to do with the need to substantiate our pride. I don't know about the rest of you, but most of the stupid decisions I've made so far revolve around my big fat ego. I have an excess of pride but don't have much to take it in. And when it has nowhere to go, it self-destructs, taking me along with it. It doesn't help that when you're at war with yourself, you tend to also be at war with the world.

So to the one who messed up,  I hope you'll be able to withdraw your arms, because we all know who has the big guns.