Waxing lyrical

Into the Blue

2010-05-08T22:14:00.000+08:00

I've traded this space for a decidedly dingier one.

Cya.

All Time Low

2010-05-03T20:42:00.001+08:00

When is everything finally going to be okay, when?!??!

I'm exhausted.

FML

2010-05-01T00:21:00.001+08:00

I just realised that my blogskin looks similar to the FML site.

That explains everything.

Strike a Chord

2010-04-16T14:57:00.003+08:00

I had a rare case of insomnia last night. I went to bed around 3 15 - 45 minutes earlier than my usual bedtime these days and 2 hours later than what I had intended - and lay tossing and turning in bed for 3 hours. My head spun every time I closed my eyes and tried to relax for the first couple of hours or so.

Something's very wrong with me these days.

I can hear a few of you going "More like since forever," but I'm not gonna bother myself with what you think because that's your problem and you're still putting up with me aren't you?

I mean physically; my bio-clock is whacked, my stomach acts up every few days, I get twisted nightmares (not physical, but yeah) ... What gives?

Well, at least those few hours didn't go to waste completely. I thought about how I would plan my 21st if I celebrated it with more than Tonberry and decided that the theme would be along the lines of Casino Royale. That way, people can entertain themselves!

I also thought about how I'm gonna spend my holidays but I'm not letting you in on my plans just yet. I don't want anyone to say it's just all talk, y'know.

Quotes

2010-04-13T03:14:00.002+08:00

Someone once tried to confuse/enlighten us with the line, "The more I know, the more I know that I do not know."

That makes obvious sense to the humble man.

The litmus test is whether he is able to still know that after he has earnt prestigious recognition.

"Even the birds are chained to the sky."

Of course. Gravity never lets go.

Viper Caterpillar and Friends

2010-04-09T02:55:00.001+08:00

Check this out if you aren't squirmish.

And even if you aren't, maybe you should scroll down so quickly that you can't see the third image clearly enough to puke.

They call the shots.

2010-04-09T00:51:00.011+08:00

I have a huge problem with decision-making. Thank God for hunger, otherwise I'd probably take an hour to decide between beef noodles and laksa.

Anyway, I've been contemplating switching over to WordPress. I've already created an account, imported my entries and even blogged a bit there but I just can't bear to leave this blogskin! Very shallow, I know, considering the many widgets WordPress has but hey, a blog's about expressing yourself, and blogskins play a part in that! Case in point: my skin's kinda plain and so am I.

So. How???!?!

It's almost funny how people do themselves in. It's a widespread phenomenon, and it also happens to be deeply intrinsic to my personality.

Why do we do such things? We know it's a stupid idea, we know we'll get crap for it, but we still go ahead and do it anyway. And I'm not talking about situations in which the alternatives lead to a more gruesome death - I'm talking about times when we actually have a chance of making it out alive. It's like we enjoy blowing ourselves up!

This weird behavior might have something to do with the need to substantiate our pride. I don't know about the rest of you, but most of the stupid decisions I've made so far revolve around my big fat ego. I have an excess of pride but don't have much to take it in. And when it has nowhere to go, it self-destructs, taking me along with it. It doesn't help that when you're at war with yourself, you tend to also be at war with the world.

So to the one who messed up, I hope you'll be able to withdraw your arms, because we all know who has the big guns.

Everyone who agrees with me say aye! The rest of you who don't, please go to the kitchen and make yourself a pot of tea. If that's too tedious for you, and I know it is, you know what to do - say aye ;). OK, this post is officially gibberish.

Art of Deception

2010-03-24T03:09:00.000+08:00

I was scammed into sleeping late today, the day of my econs test. Scammed, I tell you! Had completely nothing to do with the rainy weather.

Apparently I am so studious, I went through a practice paper in my sleep this morning. Which was why I had to hit the snooze button at least three times - I had to complete those practice questions!

Or, since your brain locks in whatever you've learnt from the sixth hour of sleep onwards, maybe my brain was just reviewing all that information and my subconscious self was lucky enough to catch a few glimpses of it.

Maybe I should write a book about my indisputable knack for procrastination.

Back in Line

2010-03-22T01:41:00.194+08:00

Mum and I went to the Asia Food Fair at the Expo today, and I swear, I stopped her from buying the whole place! She wanted to buy everything, even koropok!

I thought this looked interesting:

Raspberry Fruit Roll

Comes in a face mask-like sheet!

It looked, felt (which is not a bad thing, to me) and tasted like those cutesy decorations you stick on windows, i.e. plastic, with grainy raspberry seeds.

I also had my first latte since my Subway days today! I think it's supposed to be Jack Skellington.

Smiling despite mouth having been sewn shut -

how's that for optimism!

It's not over until it's over.

And when that's over, it's still not over - until you're over it.

So with a smile I say, Adiós, Amigo!

Presenting The Present!

2010-03-19T02:15:00.001+08:00

3 x 3 cube for a third year anniversary!

I was once like that.

2010-03-12T13:39:00.006+08:00

I am looking for inspiration for The Anniversary Present in my old blog, and I can't help but laugh.

I can't believe that there was a point in time that I had actually penned a verse of cringe-worthy emo lyrics! What was I thinking?! And more importantly, who was that about again? (I am going to delete it! Don't bother looking!)

Oh, and remember that weird hermit of a worm thing that somehow got into my file the day we sent Sheena off at the airport? I found a post relating to that, except, it's not really beth poo. I have no clue. Maybe I'll go check it up when I have nothing better to do. Haha, spotted a rhyme, haven't you?

Argh. I've been going through months of posts and I still have zilch.

Review

2010-03-09T23:07:00.013+08:00

So you want your movie review (actually you don't but I feel guilty not writing it after having promised to, and I do need the practice). Here you have it!

Alice in Wonderland

The story was well-loved, the posters were vibrant, the collaboration was exciting; everyone was looking forward to Alice in Wonderland's premiere.

But I'm afraid the movie didn't quite live up to the hype with respect to the most important aspects.

The whimsical melancholy Tim Burton is renowned for was reflected in the character of the Mad Hatter and - sadly - little else. After all, a dog being held captive because of his family isn't the quirkiest scene, is it? Also, Depp's portrayal of the Mad Hatter had lacked a certain spark, one that had been present in his previous films. It was a decent performance by any standards, but one would have expected that extra oomph from someone as apt for the role as Depp.

Falling short of the high expectations following Depp and Burton aside, the movie was a well-developed production; the integration of graphics and set was seamless, the costumes practically made the characters, and the main characters possessed a charismatic brand of quaintness and eccentricity. I was particularly charmed by Helena Bonham Carter's performance as the snippity, spoilt, yet strangely endearing Red Queen.

Essentially, Alice in Wonderland, with its hints of socio-political references, is a more evolved version of the original children's story. Recommended for weary souls who wish to seek respite from the mad world out there in a mad world of flying cats and talking caterpillars.

(Something is very wrong with my skin's quote function [I wanted to quote this review because it looks nicer]. And I can't put a caption right under the picture. Why is it being so difficult!? I just really want to say "Off with their heads!")

Now.

I WANT TO DO SOMETHING!

I don't want to feel like I'm living a hollow life doing mundane things. I don't wanna play MJ, I don't wanna club and... There's nothing else. Except pool, which we're gonna play tomorrow :).

A Subdued Cowlick

2010-03-07T19:16:00.002+08:00

It's Sunday.

I've tidied the room, changed my bedsheets, done the laundry, read a little, watched a some TV, gone to NTUC to nab sale items and am fresh out of the shower, preparing to go to a family dinner.

What's wrong with this picture?

Nothing and everything.

Touch, Go, Linger

2010-03-06T00:17:00.010+08:00

I just read the blog of one of the more (I'm not saying most because I don't know her that well) charming people I know. She wrote about missing someone, and it sounded like one of those straightforward happy heartbreak songs.

How does anyone bare their soul like that?!

Whenever I feel compulsed to spill my guts, I do some encoding, hopefully abstract enough so that it's only relevant to me.

Am I closing myself off to others? Will the world like me more if I wear my heart on my sleeve? Or is opening up going to reveal all the skeletons in my closet that will scare people away?

Anyway, the new name's Jade, if you don't already know. And it's here to stay.

I kinda knew it all along (remember Jaiden?), but I wanted something different. No fancy schmancy spin-offs this time, although I am very tempted.

My mum is Jane, and my chinese name is 玉婷 so I guess it befits me, though I'm not that much of a gem.

Guess what's gonna be my new ringtone?

Clue: Awesome track by Aerosmith, released in 2000 :)))).

Look what arrived in the mail!

Live life through rose-tinted glasses, it says

Have been eyeing this one amongst many others, but I don't think I'll get it. It's very cute, but misleading as to my relationship status, and a wee bit expensive.

This wasn't what I meant by wearing my heart on my sleeve - it itself is a fallacy

WOOHOO Alice in Wonderland tomorrow! Finally!

Distinction

2010-02-26T17:09:00.010+08:00

One of my lecturers is very cool - he's a philosopher of sorts and has authored a couple of books.

He told us that according to the whole yin yang idea, the Taijitu symbol represents that there's a part of good in every evil and a part of bad in every good. That was comforting to hear, because recently I've found that dark side of me to be increasingly prominent.

Taijitu

Last night, I chatted with one of my long-time friends.

There's a reason why you keep friends like these - they don't judge you. That is what makes or breaks a true friendship for me.

Some may argue that it is more important for friends to "be there for you", but I think that's overrated. It's nice to know that someone has your back, sure, but that's a pretty basic requirement, isn't it? If I were homeless, I would - dare I say it - expect my friends to take me in because it's a kindly gesture that you extend to someone you trust.

It's not easy to define what it means to judge someone. To me, that would be accepting someone regardless of his/her decisions instead of labeling that person as something because you think that (s)he has lower moral standards than you. That's the difference between "you're being selfish" and "you're selfish".

So I guess judging is something that people mounted on their high moral horses do and inapplicable to people who have lower moral standards than yourself, which is not to say that they have no morals, of course.

I deign to say more till I've given this more thorough thought, but in the meantime, here's a question for you:

Do you judge me? I'd really like to know.

Lost in Translation

2010-02-22T00:25:00.005+08:00

According to Pinnel's Case, a lawsuit was held over £8.50 in 1602. Inflation has come a long way. That, or they were really stingy back then (and counted their money by the hundredth of a shilling).

Law is a language I need to learn by tomorrow. The computer's right in front of me. I need it for research, but this isn't working. I get distracted every five minutes or so.

And it's very irritating that the notes cite cases that are not in the prescribed book so I have to search for them online and they either come in a huge mass of words - I'm talking mass of squid eggs mass - or just briefly mention the case in the passing.

Null

2010-02-12T02:11:00.004+08:00

A confused beth trespassed into the bathroom when I was in the shower just now! It was wriggling and shimmying for all it was worth, looking far from seductive. I was so afraid it would lose grip and fall!

Don't say that wouldn't happen. I've witnessed a backflip before, complete with the sickening splat on the floor; I was marooned on the dining table for at least ten minutes after that because the bugger chose the area I needed to cross to injure itself and lick its wounds. Oh crap, I didn't mean that literally but now I have an image of that in my head.

Here's yesterday's unpublished blog entry, before it expires. To me, a post expires when the content is no longer applicable.

11 Feb, 00 29

I have to stop watching TV! It's been back to back episodes of good stuff - CSI, more CSI (not Miami, thankfully) and The Nanny.

Yeah, I like The Nanny, big hair and all. And Seinfeld, and Friends. Starworld/Hallmark's been showing these old sitcoms and I think they're way better than the hit shows these days. Does anyone really laugh watching 30 Rock or is it just cool to be watching Tina Fey?

(This is where I realise that sitcoms are the closest thing I'm gonna get to review on since I don't think I'll be catching a movie anytime soon. Please don't recommend Dear John - a show that's all about pining and being lovelorn is a waste of money and time. I'd rather watch Ratatouille for the gazillionth time.)

Back then, it was all about satire and punchlines. I don't care if the humour's as shallow as "Do you live in his house? (Yes.) Do you take care of his children? (Yes.) Do you have sex? (No! *adamant*) Well, then you're married!" It's funny! Funnier than a guy called Tracy clucking like a chicken, that's for sure. There also seemed to be an over-usage of the blink-turn-smile wryly thing, though I thought it was a clever way of cuing laughter.

Now, it's slapstick and more slapstick; you get numb to it after awhile. A very short while.

I didn't publish this yesterday because I wanted to turn it into a review but was too tired to, but I've since realised that it's quite impossible.

Hello, big screen!

2010-02-08T23:35:00.003+08:00

Amazing! My desktop is up!

I wonder how long it'll last.

Yeah, I know, ever the skeptic, but can you blame me? I've set up the computer - not to mention carry my PC to and fro Rochor Centre - more times than I can remember.

OK, I'll go have my victory feast of instant noodles now. While I still have a reason to.

I have a dream, and it needs practice.

2010-01-25T22:27:00.002+08:00

So I've decided to hone my writing skills by posting reviews and the like on this blog!

The bulk of them will probably be on movies and food because I'm a loser who doesn't do much. Attempt #1 coming up soon!

Pure White Linen

2010-01-21T13:29:00.017+08:00

I've started today as perfectly as I could ever wish to.

I woke up early - and by early, I don't mean that I have an extra five minutes to get a pack of Pocky from the mama shop downstairs for brunch - , had reheated chicken porridge, an orange and some tea. And for the first time this year, I read the papers. I'm right on track chasing 21!

Which do you find more out of character; that I bothered to peel an orange or that I drink tea? If you said tea, you're wrong. I drink tea quite often at home because there's nothing else at home to drink other than plain water and maybe some honey, but it's easier to get rid of a teabag than sticky on a spoon!

I know it sounds like I'm a complete bum (I'm just excited that I'm finally doing it right), but look beyond the surface, guys! I'm taking responsibility for my own meals, which is a quantum leap considering I used to eat my dinner straight from the fridge if at all, and finally hydrating myself, with antioxidant drinks no less. So yeah, think of it as an improvement, hmm?

My school's having a bazaar, and they're selling this Matcha Milk Candy amongst other goodies (hot-off-the-press books slashed 20% - 40%! Bought one, checking out more later!). If anyone knows anywhere else to get this heavenly creamy taste of zen, please tell me. Thanks!

THE BOMB

More Than That

2010-01-20T17:54:00.005+08:00

It used to be a chirpy allegro turned andante. Now, it's sustained staccato madness.

It doesn't matter anymore. I'm gonna drown myself the best way I know how, and I don't mean in water.

Butterfingers

2010-01-20T02:11:00.017+08:00

Research says that the subconscious cues we pick up from others play a part in shaping our mood.

I had been in jovial company over the weekend but that didn't do anything for me. If anything, I felt worse. And God knows misery loves company- the feeling just doesn't go away.

It all boils down to my own inadequacy. Some days I feel horribly inept, and exponentially worse when I'm compared - usually by myself, but by someone nonetheless - to the happy, shiny person beside me.

Maybe that's why I pursue the things I do. Yes, I am interested in them - and more, which are sure to ensue - but learning these things also helps me prove a point that I'm desperate to acknowledge. It makes me feel better about myself, that somehow I am worth more because I can cook/blade/guess who's my partner in Bridge.

Ah, dark days.

Sniff and Snuff

2010-01-14T17:34:00.015+08:00

Got quite excited designing my room again today and got a bit off base. Presenting the masterpiece that will house my future fragrances!

The mirror opens/slides towards the right/upwards (can't decide) to reveal three shelves on which the fragraces will be displayed. The mini storage units have indents (instead of handles) to keep the look as minimalistic as possible.

Your fragrance can be a synopsis of you; they provide strangers with a sneak peek at what's beneath the cover.

Here are a few fragrances I have/want. I hope they tell a good story.

Second Skin
Bvlgari Omnia Crystalline
Ralph Lauren Romance
Paul Smith Rose
Chanel Chance Eau Fraiche

On Whim
Kenzo Flower
Marc Jacobs Daisy
Still by J.Lo
Burberry Brit Sheer

Sitting Pretty
Burberry Touch
Moschino Funny!
Moschino Glamour
Hidden Fantasy by Britney Spears

And here are a few that make the guy who wears them extra yummy!

Chanel Allure Sport
Kenneth Cole Black
Ralph Lauren Blue
Hugo Boss Pure
Hugo Boss Hugo
Hugo Boss Selection
Burberry Touch
Burberry Weekend
Burberry
Escada Sentiment

A New Chapter

2010-01-05T01:32:00.011+08:00

It's the birth of a new decade! Hello 2010!

2009 had been a pretty lousy year, no thanks to the recession (it affected me all right- I worried), swine flu and highly erratic weather. On a more personal note, Clifford left us and I - almost reluctantly - graduated from TP and entered SIM. Everything else was rather watered down and basically not what I wanted.

So this new year, I plan to stop being a fraidy-cat and create the change that I crave. This year's going to be evolutionary.

In the midst of the great overhaul, here are a few resolutions I'm gonna try my darnest to adhere to:

Embrace the new
The new's gonna come, and I want to focus on the silver linings no matter how dark the clouds are. I guess this is step two to being an optimist.

Forge better relationships
I'll meet up with those who mean anything to me at least once a month.

Revise schoolwork at the end of every week
I can't let myself down the way I did, that was too depressing.

Have dinner at home at least twice a week
I know momma wants me to.

Save $x at the current rate I'm working
I foresee a huge hole in my bank account- it shall be mended!

Find direction
Because I'm getting too old to be going nowhere. (I guess this isn't really a resolution but it's a task and, like resolutions, requires effort.)

Pick up from where I left off last year
And since I'm halfway through the five new skills one, I'll aim for two more.

Boys and girls, we're movin' up!

Photo Deluge!

2009-12-30T15:23:00.013+08:00

I still have not taken a photo of Tampines Mall's christmas tree. I love it, it's the epitome of festivity! I found Orchard Road's decorations lacklustre this year, very disappointing. Anyway, here are some photos I did take.

After-work Christmas Gathering

Christmas gifts under the hot pink feathered christmas tree

Automatic dice-shakers and deck-shuffler. My bosses are hardcore gamblers!

Candy Canes

End Product

Too bad this year's candy cane wrapping stuck too much to the candy. I kept getting bits of it in my mouth :(.

Tonberry Christmas

My gift exchange present. Too pretty!

Post-Christmas preparation

I took a couple of photos with my mum before I left the house and wanted to show them to her. I accidentally scrolled to this photo to which she exclaimed, "Delete this photo, quick! Later your friends see, so embarrassing!"

And yes, my luxurious satin blanket you have been admiring is actually a sleeping bag.

Garbage bag I lugged to town

Some of my favourite people in the world!

I got lucky this Christmas! I won first prize at TP's Sparkling Christmas lucky draw- a night's stay at Goodwood Park Hotel :)!

More Gifts

Jen gave me a teddy bear

With my name on it! It's name is Shecky, says it's tail

Mag, this is your present! Guess!

Non- Christmas

Rock I stole from the rock wall ;)

Goodies from UO

Sheena, the brown wallet on the right is the one I was telling you about. They used to have it in other nicer colours like the other design.

Alice in Wonderland, the movie is coming out soon right? I want to watch! And wouldn't it be cool if we had that pocket watch to go with the theme!

Wheels Strike 12

2009-12-18T03:11:00.012+08:00

You know how it goes.

You step out of the house ten minutes earlier than usual only see your bus roll into the distance.

Only, that wasn't your bus. That was your unintended, the bus before your usual.

You curse anyway, because even though you won't be late, you might have been able to use those few extra minutes.

You miss buses because you're too paranoid about missing your bus. Ironic, isn't it?

'Tis the season to be jolly!

2009-12-17T13:07:00.007+08:00

All the christmas and belated birthday gifts are going to make me a very broke reindeer this month. I am a reindeer because I have horns (gotta wear them at work. Keep forgetting to take them off when I go out of the store): and celebrate the spirit of Christmas.

I'm so excited about Christmas! I won't predict anything yet because I don't wanna jinx it, but hehehehehe :B!

I finally went for my first salsa lesson yesterday! It was really fun! And our instructor G is a hoot to boot!

I don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't think I'd have to dance that close with a guy. I was already pretty nervous - and late and untalented - but the proximity issue made it worse. I'm positive I'm the worst student in our class of six!

And yay, finally I'm gonna get to blade today!

Because you know what happens next.

2009-12-16T02:27:00.003+08:00

Dear You,

These days, I feel stifled around you. Close pals should be past treading on eggshells around each other, but it seems like that's what I have to do around you these days. And still it isn't enough.

If I offer help, please don't take it for granted. If I take it back and you get mad, that's you taking it for granted because I didn't have to offer it in the first place.

If I don't help, please don't think I don't care. It's probably because I can't or because it's something I think you should be responsible for.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, please don't think the worst of me. I don't think I did anything to render that.

Cheers

Unripe

2009-12-16T01:30:00.003+08:00

Women fall for bad boys purportedly because they want to be that special one who changes them.

I have failed to tap into the female psyche this time because I find that whacked. It might be that I haven't spent enough time hanging out with players/gangstas to fall for them, but they few times I did, I found them repulsive. There are diamonds in the rough, sure, but most of them are probably just graphite.

To me, the gems are the ones who have a good head on their shoulders despite having a huge ego that makes them do stupid things. These are not that hard to find- everyone knows someone like that. The tricky part is finding someone who clicks with you. Yes, we're all special in our own right because of our unique blend of idiosyncrasies yada yada, but it could be a long search for the one who appreciates your brand of quirk. Then there are the other uncontrollables.

I don't know what's my point of that last paragraph.

Anyway, I think those aforementioned women are just looking for trouble. It's one thing if I pluck an apple from the tree and find out that a worm's having it's lunch and entirely another if I pick a rotten one off the ground, polish it off and pray that I don't get the runs.

For the record

2009-12-08T13:44:00.003+08:00

Usually I leave the analysing Gek part to you guys because it's fun, though exasperating at times, sussing people out, but I think I should clarify this:

I don't hint about presents unless it's obvious that you're scoping for a hint in the first place. There's something sneaky about it, and I don't want to be associated with that kind of sneaky.

I think the best presents are bought based on observation prior to the gift-purchasing period so that you get the perfect gift plus the element of surprise. That's tough though- I always get stuck!

(Wo)man in the mirror

2009-12-06T15:01:00.007+08:00

I've been following this person's blog for awhile now, and her life is just peachy; great relationship with family and relatives, a gazillion cool friends (and not just the party-cool kind either) and impressive academic record and people skills. Her boyfriend of almost four years is just as perfect, of course.

(Ha, I just demonstrated three different ways to use the word just. < Here's the fourth and fifth.)

Makes me wonder what I have been doing with my life.

I know this is the attitude I'm supposed to cut out but I think I've done a decent job of sounding upbeat so far and today's Sunday, so give me a break.

Boys vs Girls

2009-11-30T23:10:00.030+08:00

Today has been the stalest day at Ф yet. Still, it was more fun than all of my previous stints because the incentive part of it makes it more of a challenge rather than just sitting at the computer/folding clothes all day. I'll never see a dollar the same way again- so much effort goes into earning peanuts here at Ф! It's also interesting observing the consumer behavior; there really is a difference in the way girls act in the company of guys as compared to when they are not.

The majority of girls like to browse and are pretty indecisive, but you don't have to work in the service line to know that- you just have to go shopping with me.

Every so often, a girl's opinionatedness is called into question by her spouse, to which she is quick to defend by acting stubborn.

Girls love proving that they are different, that they are the modern woman who is independent and strong-minded. So while the rest of the female population is buying the dress their boyfriend complimented them on, we feel the need to get the ostentatiously sequined one in hot pink because we are so Barbie fierce.

I guess I'm just one of those typical girls (thankfully I still manage to stay undeluded despite being one of them) because I completely get this vainglorious-woman syndrome; I'd feel uncomfortable if someone tagged me as unopinionated even though I'm apathetic on issues such as religion. But Pear, I really wasn't fronting all those times I said "all the colours look good except for the purple one."

In contrast, we have the indifferent male. An evolved, more extreme species of the regular guy who makes haste with shopping, he doesn't want to do an iota of it. He really doesn't care what he gets as long as he gets something. Probably because his girlfriend wants him to. And no, he doesn't care that you think him a wuss either.

Three guys who left an impression today:

The only hot guy I have seen in Ф history. He approached me about something but I was in the midst of serving other customers so Yi Ling took over. (Hot) Damn!

Guy with seriously sexy voice. Man, he should be working for those chat hotlines. Or post videos of him talking about whatever - preferably the news because that should definitely be made more enjoyable - on youtube. I would favourite him.

Buff model type with glossy nails and an apparent penchant for off-colour jokes. Ack.

Doesn't the new blogskin look smashing? It was even cooler before, but I didn't fancy the tabs - which actually looked really good if you like that sort of thing - so I edited it. Content makes a blog so I don't want people to have to look for it.

While I'm on this, I don't know why some people like to constantly pepper their entries so generously with photos, their blog becomes like some kind of photo log. Don't they have FB for that?

Anyway, I didn't have luck with shifting the time and tagboard to the right, so I guess I'll do without a taggie for now.

Tell me I'm not the only one who sees the appeal.

2009-11-16T22:15:00.002+08:00

(No, this is not his best photo.)

Wardrobe Change

2009-11-16T17:31:00.004+08:00

The rule is clear; if some part of you doesn't get covered up, you're gonna get into trouble, especially in Singapore where streaking is tantamount to sin.

So I'm just gonna zip it.

Yet to be Written

2009-11-12T05:48:00.002+08:00

Yezzums, I got my SE C901!

It's not crammed with applications, but that suits me fine; I just need a phone that helps to keep me organised (or as organised as I can be anyway), wakes me up in the morning, snaps decent photos and preferably a (eye)candybar.

You'd think this phone is pretty basic and it'd be selling everywhere but no, only M1 had it and I had to go sell my N79 to those ah beng retailers and buy it at retail price. I'm so glad I persevered instead of getting anything else!

Take stage amidst the glitz and glamour
Seek solace behind the velvet ropes
Lose yourself in the tremors
Flashing lights and trails of fire

The world spun better that way, but my much needed breather is over and I'm ready to rock ;)!

That bitch from work

2009-10-16T01:36:00.004+08:00

... is me.

Wow. Project work is really tough. Correction: working in a team is really tough.

I never deluded myself that I was on the same wavelength with these girls because I knew I wasn't. But I didn't think it'd come to the point where they might as well have been talking Greek.

The worst is, I can't edit their stuff too much. Which is totally reasonable. It's just that it's a natural impulse to change something that I don't know to something that I understand, and what I don't know is what they're writing. So I tried to translate it as best as I couldn't, because I can't imagine handing in something that I don't understand. Bet you couldn't either.

It'd be fine if we could trash it out, but something tells me it just isn't going to work.

I don't know how it's gonna be like facing them tomorrow.

Project Fever

2009-10-13T23:10:00.005+08:00

I'm so frustrated right now, I can't begin to tell you.

My groupmates are a nice bunch, but our take on school stuff's too different. I didn't want to step on anyone's toes but I have the EQ of a worm and nothing's going right. I can't convince her, she can't convince me, and I can't convince myself to just let things slide and hand in something that I'm not convinced about.

I don't take disagreements about work personally, but what if they do? Maybe they think that I'm an asshole.

Life's a bitch. Maybe it's turned me into one too.

In over my head.

2009-10-07T09:41:00.008+08:00

Guess who's blogging at 10 in the morning?

Now guess why.

I overslept. I was supposed to have an 8.30 class today, but I couldn't get my ass off the bed. And I suspect it's because of one of the videos I watched - or listened to, rather - last night.

It's one of those relaxation videos. I distinctly remember one of them saying "don't worry if you oversleep or undersleep, your body will wake you up." Was that why I overslept??!?!

Pear is gonna have a field day with this; he thinks it's hilarious that I listen to those videos but I just find them soothing, and I like listening to them regardless of whether I feel stressed or not.

Things are pretty messed up right now; I'm sick (though well enough to go to school today), my phone has gone to Nokia Care and is back with a new fault, project is not going well, I found out that my EQ is probably equal to my weight, I didn't do as well as I wanted to for a few tests, my cash cow's skipped town and I lost her number at Nokia Care.

On the bright side, my Accounting results weren't all that bad. Phew!

Starters

2009-09-27T20:21:00.001+08:00

I am Twenty!

Had a great time with everyone this weekend, and I'm looking forward to more! Apart from the few self-inflicted boo-boos here and there, everything went pretty darn well :)!

I wished I could have stayed longer at Timbre though, and that Ruby (bai cah because he was too garang, plus bad landing from bed) and Sheena could've been around.

It's been a long year, and though I had more than my share of the bitter slice of life, it's all good. I'm gonna keep my head high and hold those reins tight!

Everyone has had someone - a loving mother, a concerned teacher, a cheesy commercial, even - tell them that they are unique.

And I believe it.

Each of us is special in some tiny way, and although our little idiosyncracies and differences in preference of ice cream flavours don't make us stars, we can somehow be.

It's all in the choices we make, evidence of our courage to deviate from the well-worn path that provides shallow comfort and little else. It's about contesting the odds and proving a point. It's called staying true to ourselves.

So while I try to be easy-going about things I am willing to budge on, I am careful not to cross over to Lemmingdom. How sad is it to not have a mind of your own?

Doofus

2009-09-22T11:35:00.003+08:00

I've been pretty busy - no thanks to school -, hence I haven't had the chance to post my review on CI yet.

But I have to say this because OMG shit I did it again!

I submitted a survey on one of my lecturers, rating him 2s and 3s. Which would have been fine, if I hadn't added the "(the other lecturer) is pretty good though," for the last comment.

In some schools, they have stupid systems that allow the person whom your grades depend on view your surveys on them. With your name written on the survey sheet.

I sure hope my school's system doesn't work like that.

No Sappy Love Song

2009-09-09T23:35:00.011+08:00

I messed up my Accounting test, and I feel super sucky.

I could do the balance sheet, and I knew where each element was supposed to go, so this really stinks. I think I might throw up if I fail.

Coming into this, I decided that I would be the train that wouldn't stop chugging. But you see, I am just the sort of train who gets tangled up in herself. Shit on that.

Happy Birthday has been replaying in my head these few days. And since a blog's supposed to be about what goes on in your head, here it is.

Hey you
I know I'm in the wrong
Time flies
When you're having fun
You wake up
Another year is gone
You're twenty-one

I guess you wanna know
Why I'm on the phone
It's been a day or so
I know it's kind of late
But Happy Birthday

Yeah yeah whoa
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa
Well I miss you, too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But Happy Birthday

So hard
When you're far away
It's lame but I forgot the date
I won't make the same mistake
I'm so to blame

So now you know
Don't hang up the phone
I wish I was at home
I know it's way too late
But Happy Birthday

Yeah yeah whoa
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa
Well I miss you, too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But Happy Birthday

It's not that I don't care
You know I'll make it up to you
If I could, I'd be there

Yeah yeah whoa
Yeah yeah whoa

Well I miss you, too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kind of lame
But Happy Birthday

Yeah yeah whoa
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa
Well I miss you, too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kind of late
But Happy Birthday
To you

- The Click Five

Coconut Ice

2009-09-02T23:40:00.017+08:00

YAY!

I have achieved the impossible! I made Pear commit! To trying Coconut Ice (CI), that is. I think he would have been more receptible to the idea of going without meat for a week.

Ladies and gentlemen, CI!

No one knows what it is, except that it's probably made of coconut. And that it's pretty much a vegetarian treat although the white part looks like the first few seconds of a scraped elbow and the pink part looks like a hindered healing wound with the scab removed.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist making I-love-Saw-and-all-things-gore Pear squirm. I think this is the biggest risk he has ever taken in his life.)

What I do know, though, is that it sweats.

I guess Singapore's crazy weather's got it all hot and bothered

I must clarify that it's not my fault that it's in this state now; I stored it in a cool dry place, as directed on it's wrapper. I can't put it into the fridge because it hardens into a brick. I know that because I tried it with the previous one, and no, I didn't put it in the freezer.

To prove that it wasn't always like that, here's CI when I first bought it:

Yeah, I was pretty fascinated with it, hence the multiple photos. Still am, which is why I'm taking a bite as well. I made Pear promise to eat it so that he wouldn't be able to laugh at me when I get the runs thereafter :B.

Will review after the taste test.

A few scattered photos because I have them

Moo Moo in her poncho!

Sasha

Bel, this photo's for you. Lazy to email and Weewee doesn't know of this blog anyway. I think this looks like a love at first sight - if there is such a thing at all - scene! But the post-diet pillar behind is very extra.

Rainy day, so we headed for the pavilion

I don't miss being an ELF all that much, but I certainly do miss being part of a team, especially one as synegetic as our batch

New sandals, happy feet :)

Orange cubes

Peel Fresh, I find, works best for this. Personally, I prefer Sunkist as a drink because it's less sweet, but we're making popsicles here. Yep, consider that my tip of the millenium.

Flashback

2009-08-28T01:43:00.007+08:00

Computer crashes are like technological menstruation- my computer has them once every two months or so, which is now. It's PMS comes in the form of lagginess, which effectively drives me nuts!

I wish I could walk you into the future
A route mapped by my own wanderlust
I wish I could walk you into the future
Past the abysmal sea of echos
A starry-eyed shuttle through space

26 Aug @ 07 10

I'm not happy about having to wake up this early today.

So when mum told me bread made a better breakfast than bananas, I decided to annoy her with a "why?", and then around four more to the subsequent replies she gave.

She always does this- saying things as if they were facts without knowing the reasons behind them herself.

And, for the record, bananas are the better brekkie.

Ahoy!

2009-08-22T01:24:00.011+08:00

This week's been a fulfilling one; other stuff aside, I made Regina's present and lunched at Design school with a few ELFs today. I missed their Fish & Chips so much! Am gonna see some of the old CSC gang at aqua theraphy event tomorrow :). Man, I wish I were back in TP.

This week was the first time I met my local lecturers, and I have to say that some of them are really good! I never thought it was possible for Accounting to be made interesting, but my lecturer came pretty close!

I'm kinda inspired. It takes a commendable amount of spirit and verve to go on about anything when no one looks like they give a damn. I know that for sure because quite often, my tutees' restlessness rubs off on me and I get real tempted to cut them some slack and feed them answers, which is equivalent to tutorial sin.

I don't go out of my way to inject life into my lessons; if the kids are bubbly, I'll probably be too. But if they are tepid little creatures, I leave them to remain that way. I'm not a lifeguard, I can't breathe life into people, and I'm not a life coach, so I don't waste my effort trying.

Unlike me, however, my lecturers seem to fizz with energy despite facing a inanimate audience. Doing ALPs has taught me that there's nothing worse than a dead crowd, so kudos to them on that!

I added a few resolutions to the list last night, nevermind that it's three quarters into 2009 now.

Check two requirements off NYAA
Tough. I don't even have a CCA right now. I'll get into one soon enough though.

Revise notes at least once every month
This time round, it's for real; shape up or ship out, do or die!

Raise bank balance by $y by year end, $z if I am to take up dance
Quite impossible but hey, aim for the sky, fall on the coconut tree, right?

Be more punctual: < 15 minutes late for any meet-up
You are not to laugh. I'm taking baby steps on this one.

Don't nix them.

2009-08-11T02:50:00.005+08:00

It seems like people have had their courtesy and consideration zapped out of them lately, and I'm having none of it. Well, actually I have been having a lot of it and it's getting really old.

I shouldn't have to do anything that I don't feel like doing, especially if it is to pick up someone's responsibility, no matter how small. Those are the bonuses that come with the friendship package, so it really bugs me when someone just assumes that it's a given - that it's my duty to be a yesman - even when I am willing to help out.

Whatever happened to social graces?

School of Thought

2009-08-03T21:17:00.007+08:00

Today was my first day of school. I didn't make any new friends, and I have to find groupmates for my Marketing project by Wednesday. So thank god I went for orientation! I still don't know who to group with, but at least I know a handful of people.

The day went better than I had expected. I don't know what I was expecting, since nothing exceptionally good happened today.

One thing did stink though: Travelling. It takes an eternity to get to school, and I can't even read (oh, did you know that Sony has a Kindle counterpart? I saw someone using it yesterday!)/cram for a test on the bus because of my motion sickness. In fact, I'm still feel nauseous from my ride home. Wasn't doing any reading though; was just facing the opposite direction.

Berries rejoice! I bought tie dans for you guys!

I didn't personally buy them, obviously. One of my OG mates kindly offered to buy stuff for us from Taiwan and I immediately got reminded of Tonberry's tie dan craze. I only got five packs though; I didn't want to impose on him too much, especially since we were freshly acquainted.

I haven't been keeping up with my new year resolution about not picking fights with Pear so well these few weeks, and John, my fictitious friend, has enlightened me why.

It's because I - as with everyone else - hate admitting that I could be wrong. And with every step he took to resolve matters, I got more incensed because it meant that I, the guilty one, just sunk a level deeper into fault for having the innocent party make things right.

So now that I've spelt it out, I guess you won't be needing John anymore, will you Pear?

Toxic

2009-08-03T01:06:00.008+08:00

It's hard having to work with material that you're unfamiliar with- merely trying to adapt is draining.

Still, that can't beat working with familiar material that sporadically catches you off guard. You get a rude awakening and end up tired and disappointed.

That's My Cue

2009-07-28T15:13:00.025+08:00

By now everyone my age should know that reality is the bane of life.

So, major boo of the week: I'm stopping tuition with R.

I've been meaning to tell you about her; she's funny.

And fastidious...

... and persistent.

I was teaching her the meaning of 'slab', so I drew a 3D box. She became obsessed with it and drew it during breaks and after tuition for the next couple of lessons. Then I had to teach her about ice cubes.

And a stickler for rules.

And has an eye for detail.

The second drawing is me and my words of wisdom. No, I wasn't crying- that's my hair. Apparently my hair was that damn messy. Those two dots - which, frankly, I think have been drawn too big - are moles.

I'll be handing R over to J, and although it doesn't take a straight A student to teach an eleven-year-old, I'm glad to say that R will be in good hands :).

Watched local production OTOT, which comprised two plays, Full Tank and Botak Boys, with Dora the other day.

While I found Full Tank, which was built around the tired Mas Selamat controversy, to be quite ho-hum, Botak Boys rocked my boat.

Both plays revolved around slapstick humour, crude language and not much of a plot (it might just be me not being used to watching plays, but I feel that there should be an underlying message at the end of every worthy show), but Botak Boys shone thanks to its good vibes and hilarious musical line-ups.

In my humble opinion, Full Tank was scripted in bad taste. I'm sure everyone appreciated the blatant jibes at office politics, but I don't agree with them putting the government's name on it. I found it mean-spirited and pointless.

Botak Boys, on the other hand, was a gay-hearted, good-natured and overall positive yet accurate portrayal of army life. I like how they managed to seamlessly slip in nuggets of relevant information and the musical parts were well-orchestrated. Yep, muscleheads prancing around in tight-fitting shirts and tush-revealing shorts in the style of NS cabaret was definitely the way to go.

I was so impressed with the show that I actually changed my mind about plays - they might actually be worth their hefty pricetags afterall. That, coming from a scrooge, is saying a lot.

At the very heart of all the jitters is this: I'm petrified of change. Change means chances, yes. Chances to fall flat on my face.

Crossroads

2009-07-24T01:26:00.008+08:00

I'm feeling all virtuous right now because I bought pasta. And camembert cheese!

Alright, I gotta admit I have no idea how to cook camembert. But it's a start, right? I'll be whipping up Indulgz-esque dishes in a month, starting with fried camembert! Actually no, this chunk's for mac and cheese (another reason why I'm so darn self-satisfied right now- I borrowed a cookbook!) but I'll definitely experiment with that too.

I know I haven't been blogging much, but I've been pretty high-strung lately and I don't know how to discuss anything without offending anyone. This may be a puny platform, but mighty Google knows all.

I have been trying to embrace things, but a grimy sack of gristle doesn't exactly scream huggable to me. Life stinks like that; what's the point of popping pills when you've already recovered?

In a Few Years

2009-06-28T23:55:00.000+08:00

Peanut's birthday BBQ ended two hours ago and I'm hungry already, ravenous even. I don't know what's wrong with me, my appetite seems to be insatiable these days.

We're getting so old. Pretty soon I'm gonna hit the (not so) big two-o, and that scares me. How could it not? In a few years, I will be competing for a job in a saturated industry. In a few years, I will be paving my own future. In a few years, I will be the sole supporter of the family.

I hate that the future is veiled and that no one ever gets a peek into it; I have so many decisions to make, I need to know!

It's times like this that I wish determinism were a factual entity. I know I'm supposed to take chances because that's the only way out but this is too much.

Yeah, I know right, trust me to turn a birthday celebration into another fretting fest.

Pushing Daisies

2009-06-20T01:24:00.012+08:00

Is it just me or have they changed the formula for Pokka Grean Tea? I hope it's just a few wonky batches, because it's one of my favourite drinks.

You'd never guess what I bought today- floss! Dental floss! There's hope for me yet!

I went to the dentist's the other day and was told that I had two cavities situated side by side on two of my premolars (the teeth adjacent to your two front teeth). That's the area I concentrate on brushing the most and still two teeth decayed. I raked up a total of $250, inclusive of scaling and mousse treatment, which, might I add, was a waste of money, but I didn't know better. Yeah, ouch.

So, I've decided to give flossing a go. I'm not the most punctual of people though, so it's pretty much a given that I'll be skipping this time-consuming task at least three times a week. I mean, thinking "Gotta wake up now, otherwise no time to floss!" is hardly going to motivate anyone to get their ass off the bed. The opposite would be more likely.

Still, what better way to start whipping your life into shape than flossing, right?

Today has been a helluva day! It's been a big juggling act, and I like it!

Work it!

2009-06-16T01:26:00.002+08:00

I got myself an Eee PC! I feel so proud of myself! In case you think it's a desktop, which I don't think you will because not many people are less tech-savvy than I am, it's a netbook. It's plasticky black, not golden-brown/ champagne gold like I would've liked it to be, but it's definitely the best choice amongst the bunch, asthetics aside.

Next up, Thailand trip! That is, if mum still gives the green light on that.

I feel empowered!

Ew.

2009-06-05T14:38:00.003+08:00

I'm glad I'm out of ex-workplace (EW) because I've scored a better job over at PB :)! Work at EW (LOL, I love how the name sums up the place so aptly) was no doubt easy money, but some things can't be bought that easily.

Post Diploma Crisis

2009-05-20T23:48:00.026+08:00

Edited/

Alright, forget that I said whatever I did. DMCP is not gonna happen. I'll just have to find another way out.

--------------------------------------------------

OK, here's the deal: I betrayed myself and applied for RMIT's Marketing instead of SUNY's Double Major in Communication and Psychology for $40k, and my heart is biting back.

I am interested in marketing, I am. But if I take on the latter - let's call it DMCP for short - I'll have more options. I'll be able to branch into events and advertising and do away with all that sales stuff that people love to term as marketing while still having the option of pursuing journalism if I ever get good enough.

DMCP sounds like a dream, right? But for some reason, the course, as with all SUNY courses, is priced at a whooping $57 780, minus the cost of coursebooks. To be fair, it's a four-year programme, but then again with that money I could take up two degrees and still have some left over.

If I do take up DMCP, it means that we'll either have to scrimp like crazy because dad has decided to completely retire or take up a bank loan, which would be quite stupid. And I still can't get over the fact that they haven't saved up for my education. I guess it's fair then; I'm not the only one who failed someone.

To make things worse, I just found out that the Marketing course doesn't even offer an honours programme, which is what I had planned to aim for. I'm not sure if DMCP has it but I sure hope it does because I need to know that I can make it to the top, at the very helm of things. Because I've finally matured, and because this isn't FDM- this is something I actually like.

One cool thing about SIM is that it has a pool club. That means free pool right? Definitely gotta train for that. Pear, will you please transform me into a pool goddess?

The Perfect World

2009-05-15T12:27:00.002+08:00

It's made up of the best of both worlds.

It's the one place where you can have your cake served to you on a silver platter and eat it too.

And of course, it's non-existent.

Not too long ago, I learnt that I am an idealist. That's when I knew that I had to change, because if I were to stay that way, second best is the best I'll ever get.

Idealism stunts satisfaction; if perfection is all we recognise, nothing will be enough. But how, I wonder, do we gauge how much, or how little, we should be content with?

Also, how do I change my mindset? It's like studying- you know that you should, but you just can't concentrate, even though you've got your butt in your chair, notes all ready.

I'm trying to change, and I will change. One day, I will be good enough for you.

Quarter-Yearly Review

2009-05-11T16:07:00.004+08:00

Reviewing New Year Resolutions 2009

Become a hardcore optimist
I think I've slid down the ladder, if anything. Not too long ago, I discovered that I am an idealist, and Pear has nodded affirmative. That's definitely going to get in the way.

Stop the behavioral spasms
I think I'm halfway there.

Read more
I have been reading more of the news (online). Books, not so much.

Sleep solo
Achieved! Except for days on which my bed is littered with stuff that I can't be bothered to put away.

Drink more water
I'm pretty sure I drink at least one glass each day, thanks to ZX and HZ (they always serve me a mug of water at the start of our lessons. I really miss the kids): , so that means I'm on track.

Go ambidextrous
Haven't tried this yet. Sounds completely tedious.

Develop five major skills

Passed BTT; have yet to take FTT
Am learning French online
Mahjong- did I learn it this year? I sure hope so. Yes, I think I did. So yeah, that counts :B

Dusk to Dawn

2009-04-29T12:16:00.018+08:00

14 April

I spotted a stray eyelash under my right eye today. In typical fashion, I positioned it on my index finger to recite my usual wish. Then it occurred to me that my wish didn't apply anymore. No, I have not gotten it- it has expired. The eyelash magic had failed me.

Some people brim with hope, because it's the only option they've got. Others are disillusioned from too many an unfufilled wish; they are jaded, they are cynical, and they wish to stay that way.

Everyone's caught in the vicious cycle of desperately trying to make their transition to either of these categories. Logic tells us that we hold our future in our weak, grimy hands, that you get what you deserve and only what you deserve, but everyone suffers bouts of synapse disconnections and we're back to thinking that we can actually overcome the unknown and win the lottery. It's ridiculous, the way we clutch at transient rays of light, much like a drowning man clutching at straws.

Toughies are toughies. We make it through the shit times :).

Self-sustained for now

2009-04-23T01:45:00.009+08:00

I feel bloody cheated because that is what I am- cheated.

My blind-to-price habit is back; I'm back to not checking out the price of stuff even though I am earning a very minimal wage. What's worse is that I have somehow begun to trust online spree-ers and am going on a spreeing spree.

To my defence, my wardrobe looks like a guy's wardrobe- very, very predictable. You probably can name five of my shirts right off the top of your head because I've been wearing them to death. And buying trend-insensitive pieces at discounted prices makes for good investments, no?

Argh, I just realised I bought more casual clothes. I'm not supposed to, not until I get a few more dressier ones anyway.

I am determined to earn as much as possible this holiday. The money will go to:

a netbook
a new phone
new glasses for mum
nice dinner with Pear
Pear's 21st birthday present
my bank account (and stay there)

Please feel free to hit me - and this is the only way you are allowed to hit me - with tuition lobangs if you have any, thanks.

Sometimes, I wish I were an island.

Not-So-Secret Affair

2009-04-10T02:57:00.014+08:00

The ELF Graduation Dinner is over. My life as an ELF has officially ended.

May 2006

Unlike the many hopefuls here, I do not especially wish to get into ELF. All I want is to not embarrass myself in front of everyone. I came to this selection to accompany Jen, to somehow build her confidence while shielding her from the terror that is Mr X.

Ivan turns the spotlight on me by asking me to lead my team at Meuse. He is doing that to give me a chance to prove myself; he doesn't know that that is the last thing I need. I give haphazard directions and eventually my voice gets drowned out. It's blindingly obvious that I have messed up.

March 2007

Watching Sheena and Han Jun leave for their interviews, something stirs inside me. Something that feels a lot like longing. I immediately squelch it.

I would not be running for main committee for the right reasons. Hell, I am not even in ELF for the right reasons; I joined to accompany a friend and stayed to keep the friends I had made. And now, I want to be in the committee for the sake of being in a committee, for the want of something to busy myself with.

A few days later, I am crowned as ELF's new Assistant Secretary. I never asked for it; ELF had a shortage of manpower, and I was there to plug the hole.

July 2007

Kama must be my accumulation of bad karma. And Jaz is there to jazz it up even more. Lame puns, I know, but not as lame as how those two guys make me feel. The former never fails to make me feel guilty for not having yet sent out the email that has a deadline of tomorrow*, and the latter always mocks my char bee hoon**.

For the thousandth time, I ask myself what I am doing here, heading a craft that I have no talent in. The answer is always the same; I don't know, but I don't want to leave.

******

We are facing our greatest challenge yet. I try to keep my calm as I dole out instructions; no one follows a weak leader. I have grown to like weilding my power, but I am well aware that a single rebel in the troop could foil my plans. To emerge glorious, I have to keep my wits by me, and that is by no means an easy feat.

Present Day

Some people join a craft and leave being the craft. Kama is a fine example of that. Me, not so.

ELF and I had an unconventional affair. It was one without passion, yet it had brought me to highs that I would not have otherwise reached. It was one that allowed me to wear the pants, yet it rendered me vulnerable to my participants. It was, and still is, one that I hold close to my heart, even though I can never love it the way I should. Sometimes, I wish we could have had a more normal relationship, but that's alright, the status quo is fine the way it is.

* I'm sure I was being too sensitive. Kama was probably just asking me and I felt like he was pressurising me.

** Jaz is crazy about this whole ELF thing. He probably couldn't understand why I kept messing up stuff that I was passionate about. Now you know - I wasn't.

I have to say though, that despite all the times that I felt like socking them in the stomach, these guys are pretty darn cool :).

Saw that coming.

2009-03-23T02:02:00.005+08:00

I got my anticipated surprise from Pear this week. Only, it was much more anticipated than I had hoped because I had totally forseen "a random smiley face unceremoniously chucked into my underwear drawer". In fact, the next line was supposed to go something like "No, Pear, now that I've mentioned it, you can't leave me a smiley note in my underwear drawer".

I know! Let's make it a game! Surprise me again this week and see if I can guess what you're going to surprise me with. I'll write my answer(s) in white at the end of this post for you to check after you have planned your surprise. I'm not even gonna ask you not to cheat 'cos I know you won't.

LOL, this is gonna be fun!

Anticipated Surprise Guesses (ASG)

Some note chucked into my underwear drawer
Smiley face chucked somewhere other than in my underwear drawer
No surprise- that's the surprise

Frankly, "none of the above" would be the greatest surprise; I'll really be surprised if the surprise isn't one of the mentioned three.

EDITED- AGAIN

2009-03-20T12:44:00.006+08:00

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Shakespeare got that right, because I got thyself a new name, and I still smell like Roses and Satin (Clairol Herbal Essences)!

After a week or so of conjuring names and looking up their meanings, I have finally settled on a christian name. Friends of tomorrow shall call me Charlana, pronounced shar-LAN-ah.

I was deliberating between Lana and Jaiden. Finally decided on the former because I prefer the attributes it embodies, and added a prefix.

The girl's name Lana \l(a)-na\ is pronounced LAN-ah, LAHN-ah. Variant of Alana (Old German) "precious" or (Irish, Gaelic) "little rock", or Helen (Greek) "light", or (Hawaiian) "afloat; calm as still waters". The name also resembles the romantic term for wool: "laine" or "lana". Made famous by actress Lana Turner.

Source

The girl's name Aiden \a(i)-den\, also used as boy's name Aiden, is a variant of Aidan (Gaelic), and the meaning of Aiden is "fire".

Source

You who's reading this right now can just call me Gek; it has grown on me. Charlana is for the ease of future business partners (farsighted, aren't I?) and part of my image renewal scheme.

As you probably can tell, I am big on self-improvement, especially character-moulding, and I plan to be such a cool cat by 2010, no one will remember I was ever nicknamed ******. Meow ;)!

Edit/

20 Mar
I just viewed my post; sorry for the chunk of funky fill-in-the-blank passage. Too troublesome to un-hyperlink everything.

22 Mar
This is the last time I edit this, I promise. *sheepish grin*

Fluff

2009-03-17T18:09:00.009+08:00

My two cute neighbours Bryan and Brandon are blowing bubbles downstairs! I know because I just looked out of the window and saw a swarm of happy bubbles floating against a lush green background that- pretty!

Know what's even better than happy bubbles? Surprises! And Pear has one for me! I know that for a fact because I told him he better give me a surprise this week, nevermind if it's just a random smiley face unceremoniously chucked into my underwear drawer.

The guy's logical to a fault. I appreciate his sensibilities, but I'm hungry for some spice! Yes, I know it isn't going to be a full fledged surprise, but we're gonna have to take baby steps.

I really, really hope I get that job at that advertising firm. I like the idea of advertising, and even though I'll just be an admin assistant, I could pop over to the designer's when I'm free- I'm sure she wouldn't turn down help. Man, that would be cool!

Lukewarm Straits

2009-03-13T13:09:00.005+08:00

Badminton yesterday was fun! I haven't played it since I was, what, fourteen? I definitely want to do it again soon. And for that, I'll need a racket. Does anyone have one to sell?

I have a rash of sorts between my eyes and the apples of my cheeks, and it's killing me. It's been there for a few weeks now, I think, but it's only started to bother me recently. I'll be going down to the polyclinic in a bit.

Dear You,

Just in case you are not that into subtleties, my asking a question doesn't necessarily mean that I am completely clueless. If the answer is glaringly obvious, it probably is me highlighting a fact.

And I know it's really annoying to not be on the same frequency, but hey, I'm dealing with it too- without giving the you're dumb look.

I guess you won't be reading this, but I decided to put this up anyway as some sort of disclaimer.

Gek

Undercurrent

2009-02-27T01:00:00.012+08:00

It's been a week of mahjong, pool and lazing around, and I'm bored. Of course I like doing the aforementioned activities - a lot - but excess is never good. Except when it comes to cheese and strawberries, that is.

My last two interview trips were cancelled due to unprecedented events- was God trying to tell me something? Because more than I need the extra moolah, I need something to occupy myself with, and that's saying a lot.

I have an obsession with making lists; here's one of them.

Shortcut to Maturity

I will use the potent combination of logic and persuasiveness to win discussions.

I will display patience and good-naturedness when providing feedback.

I will not get jealous over others' material possessions.

I will not be affected by people with no morals.

I will exhibit immaculate social graces.

I will abide by my spending limits.

I will read the papers at least four days per week.

I will stick to this list as stringently as possible.

Clutching at Clarity

2009-02-18T00:35:00.008+08:00

Remember me vowing to become ambidextrous at the start of this year? Well, it just happens so that I do need to be able to write with my left hand now! I would prefer to, anyway. Decided to have the cyst on my right elbow removed, so writing hurts a little now. And as you might have guessed, I still can't write with Lefty.

Met up with Lyd just now, and she bought me a bloc of my favourite Cadbury :)! Without a doubt she did that because she feels guilty that I got her a birthday present when she didn't get me one last year, haha! So transparent, so Lyd.

I guess it's apparent that I have changed quite a bit since we first entered TP, and I'm surprised to see that she is still the same.

Stepping into my first year of school, I had my head in the clouds with no aims whatsoever. All I knew was that I had to complete my course within three years; I didn't even know the minimum GPA for graduating.

The following three years then saw me undergoing major reforms; for reasons fluctuating between sheer muddle-headedness and spurts of spontaneity, I was moulded to form opinions, be engaged and pursue my ideals (this part came too late though). And I had liked it. Relished it, to be exact. Because along the way, I had gained friends who learned with me, shared with me and - hopefully - will stay with me, and for that I'm grateful.

I'm also thankful that God, despite his warped sense of humour, was kind enough to spare me some sanity in the form of two people, whose names I deign to reveal, when I felt like I was living in a world gone mad.

I hate to think that my life at TP has come to an end, but I guess the old has to make way for the new, and while current circumstances ensure that I have no illusions of my new life to come, I do have lofty aspirations. This time round, it will be different; I will bury my ego, surge ahead and, at the end of the day, keep my pride.

Now. Time to find a (temporary) job.

Closure

2009-02-10T02:14:00.002+08:00

I promise to go running/ blading/ swimming with Mag in the very-near future. I will not be a weakling!

And in case you haven't noticed, I have created a very pretty tagboard. If you care enough to watch this space, I want to keep in touch, so yeah, drop me a note whenever.

I shall also be appearing online more often because I realise no one initiates chats with me nowadays. It could be that I am always appearing offline though. But ay, I had my reasons!

I really am a last-minute person, aren't I? Not only do I cram for exams and do projects at the eleventh hour, I even hold off leisurely stuff like schmoozing. Yeah, well, that's gonna change.

It's been a full week since I first heard the news about Clifford now. We attended his first 7 x 7 = 49 service last Saturday, which was also supposed to be his twentieth birthday.

The pain is ebbing away. As much as I would like erase all of it, a tiny part of me resists it because there is a sense of guilt in doing so. Sort of like I'm betraying him, forgetting him, even though moving on is the only way to go.

Somehow, there is solace in grieving. Perhaps it's because the sadness is the only emotion we are able to feel for him now. Or maybe it's because it is subconsciously an obligatory gesture; not being upset would not be the norm. Or everyone is a masochistic fool. Except for me, because I am more than that- I am a pretentious masochistic fool who is trying to go all psychological on you when I should be studying for tomorrow's quiz.

Anyhow, I'm cool with things now. I just hope Yi Zhong is dealing as well.

Seasons in the Sun

Goodbye to you, my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we climbed hills and trees
Learned of Love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees

Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I’ll be there

We had joy, we had fun, we had Seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just Seasons out of time

Goodbye Papa, please pray for me
I was the Black Sheep of the Family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along

Goodbye Papa, it's hard to die
When all the bird's are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little Children everywhere
When you see them I'll be there

We had joy, we had fun, we had Seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the Seasons have all gone

We had joy, we had fun, we had Seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time

Goodbye Michelle, my little one
You gave me Love and helped me find the sun
And every time when I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground

Goodbye Michelle, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there

we had joy, we had fun, we had sesons in the sun
but the hills that we climbed,are just seasons out of time

We had joy, we had fun, we had Seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song, like the Seasons, have all gone

- Westlife/ Terry Jacks

Funeral for a Friend

2009-02-06T03:41:00.006+08:00

Clifford passed away on the first day of this month from brain tumour.

In the US, approximately 2000 children and adolescents younger than 20 years of age are diagnosed with malignant brain tumors each year

- Wikipedia

And the US population is 305 million. You do the math.

The news came as a shock; everyone thought everyone was kidding. I was surprised at my initial nonchalance, which had been disbelief in disguise. I had thought that Jen had been duped by Yi Zhong and Yang Xu, but his Facebook wall told me that wasn't the case. As did the photo at his wake.

Clifford was special. He still is. Not in the romantic sense, but in a way everyone who knew him could appreciate.

I can't quite muster the energy to launch into a lengthy soliloquy about what this has made me realise, but you can be sure I'll be scrambling to call on each and every friend I still care about.

When it rains, it pours.

Sealed Juncture

2009-02-01T20:19:00.011+08:00

It's like I've been a zombie all this while, shuffling along happily, completely immune and blind to the winds of change.

And now, now is when God decides that I have had my fun and smacks a talisman on my forehead. It's on my freaking forehead; I can't run and I can't hide.

We all know what happens next. I either pulverise, disintegrate into nothingness or spasm and die frothing at the mouth. I'm spoilt for choice.

Doodle

2009-01-30T04:02:00.001+08:00

CNY Frenzy

2009-01-26T01:40:00.003+08:00

I have a new wardrobe and chest of drawers! They were supposed to be cheap, at a total of $204, but I had to deliver them because the wardrobe package was too big to cab it, and that cost an additional $50.

Anyway, I am so proud of myself because I fixed the wardrobe all on my own :D! Pear helped me with the chest of drawers and rushed back from his reunion dinner to help me carry my old wardrobe to the lift lobby. In case it sounds like I'm a total tyrant, he lives near me, so it wasn't that much trouble coming back.

If you're wondering why I didn't pay the extra $12 (or $24, I'm not quite sure) to save myself the hassle of fixing up, well, I don't know either. It sounded kinda fun- something I would regret, but fun. And it was, but now I'm dead beat. Oh yeah, I reconfigured my room layout again, too! Things are looking so fresh, I like :). I had really wanted to paint the walls a soft, buttery yellow but there was simply no time.

I hope the sweeping-during-CNY-brings-bad-luck thing purely applies to sweeping because I was still mopping the floor at the stroke of midnight. For two seconds. And then I was done. Tell me it doesn't apply, tell me! It was only two seconds!

OK, I need to prep myself for a boring day of visiting tomorrow (why does everyone like bak kwa? I nibble on them every year to be polite, but I don't like them all that much). I wish my cousins and I hadn't grown apart. CNY would have been something to look forward to if we hadn't.

I'm rambling again. And real tired. Again. Which was how I was when I was doing peer evaluation yesterday. I ramble when I'm tired, I think. I hope I didn't write anything stupid. I can't be bothered to change anything now either ways. Peace.

It's never the last lap.

2009-01-23T05:24:00.005+08:00

G and I have been cleaning up so much shit, you'd wonder who the real asswipes were. No, not us- we are the victims, remember?

Amateurs built the ark;
Professionals built the Titanic

Decisions, decisions!

It's difficult to pop on those rose tinted shades and pretend that everything is peachy when things are like this. But yeah, I'll try.

Up in Arms

2009-01-17T11:34:00.006+08:00

Whew, what a week! I zonked out almost immediately after I reached home last night, BBQ-infused hair and all. My biological clock has gone cuckoo, and I'm still feeling a teensy bit groggy right now, so don't mind me if I blabber incoherently.

I've been slogging over projects, doing things that I "don't know why I am doing because I don't like doing them", and basically getting cranky from all the pockets of naps I've been taking.

I am reluctant to believe that it's just a case of me liking to punish myself, but I think that's just it. I bet even you are tired of how I keeping going on about doing things that I have no interest in. In some twisted, masochistic way, I always end up sticking my foot into these tried-and-tested-a-gazillion-times waters. In fact, even as my fingers jab away, I'm doing it again; I'm considering going for the NECDC Adventure Race when I know I'll end up literally falling flat on my face.

Also, I've been dealing with an obstacle this past week, and it's a she. Am I really that socially inept? Or is a quarter of the world really made up of self-righteous psychos?

Occasionally, I get this it's me against the world feeling. Occasionally feels a lot more like perpetually nowadays.

Asking for it.

2009-01-08T00:38:00.009+08:00

Yet another ClubR project has popped up like an annoying zit on my weary face, and I'm manning the ELF booth at 9am tomorrow. That leaves me seven hours minus travel time. Oookay.

It's TPOH3 for me, and this time round, I'm just a silver of the pie crust. That's cool with me; it'll be my personal anniversary.

If people were just a tad more considerate... Well, they never are.

Edit @ 17 45

Joey and Hui Shan: I hope you two have stopped laughing by now.

Point Blank

2009-01-05T23:54:00.005+08:00

And they've got me grabbing at straws, tangled up in their web, a sticky mess of sorts.
And you've got me begging for air, away from your want of redemption, or maybe another round of deception.
And it's got me startled, it's got me muddled, it's got me good.

Photos

2009-01-05T01:50:00.019+08:00

Just uploaded pictures from my phone for CCOM (took a photo of my job ad), so here's some of it, plus Kaixin and Janice's Cameron shots.

Bunks on the train

Reason for envy

Coolest rides ever!

Dig the mud

It kinda reminds me of a potty...

You know, I actually came up with the hare-brained idea to sell the infamous Rafflesia stench for our entrepreneurship project. I hope they team doesn't think that I'm whacked or anything... It didn't seem all that far-fetched before I had come face to face with the mushroom (yeah, it's a fungus, not a flower) because I was expecting it to be puke-worthy stinky. Truth be told, I was disappointed- was kinda anticipating it after hearing people rave about how terrible the smell is.

Hello, all ye prickly pricks!

To the top of the observation tower!

Moment of glory
(please excuse Janice's camera sling)

High on adrenalin

Thank God for Kampong Adidas

Crazy ferris wheel that spun like a fan- it was cold enough up there for it to be believable too.

Back in sunny Singapore...

Rattle balloons have a therapeutic effect on me

We caught these for $10, I think? What can I say, we're good!

Chilli-egg prata (bleugh!)

I was a total glutton today. Mag and I shared a pint of three tiered Ice Cream Chef- cookie dough, oreos and cream, and kaya lotti with Tim Tams and brownie chunks. Immediately after which we headed for some Katong laksa. Come dinner time, we had vermicelli, barley dessert, three packs of chips and a packet of Hello Panda. Nay to healthy living! Oh, but I did attempt rollerblading today though- a good start on my new year resolutions!

I also slept alone last night, something to applaud although I didn't turn off the lights. What? It was already past three in the morning! And I've been drinking two glasses of water daily too. It's a start.

Alrighty, gotta hit the sack.

De Rigueur

2009-01-01T23:04:00.010+08:00

We've stumbled our way into 2009, and I still can't write with my left hand. Had planned to learn it by 28 June last year. That should give you a gauge of how adept I am at procrastinating.

I shan't include "no procrastination" on my resolution list because it will only get pushed on to being next year's resolution, but here's the rest:

Become a hardcore optimist
By hardcore, I mean that I shouldn't even have to remind myself to think of the bright side. I really admire the way optimists infect others with their cheerfulness, and I'm always grateful for a much needed dose of sunshine. Next time, I want to be the one spreading it.

Stop the behavioral spasms
Pear has suffered enough of those; it's time I controlled my temperament.

Read more
Especially newspapers. I'll thank myself someday.

Sleep solo
Sometimes even I can't believe that I don't.

Drink more water
At least four glasses a day. Plain water is my poison, but I'm shriveling up thirty years early.

Go ambidextrous
It's not just about writing- I'll also have to be able to carry my sling bag on my left for an entire day. What do you mean this is totally unimportant? Should I break my right arm someday, I want to still be able to brush my teeth without choking to death on my toothbrush, although now that I put it this way, dying seems to be a good option as well.

Develop five major skills
This one's a wild card; I'll have to learn whatever - driving, sports, language - and be reasonably good at them by 2010. I do have a list, but I haven't decided which to start on yet and I doubt I can learn everything on that list within a year. This is going to be fun!

2008 had been a year of discoveries. It wasn't as fun-filled as the previous two, but it was certainly the year I had grown the most, and I thank God (I'm a free thinker, but I do believe that there is a god- that's a discussion for another day) for that. As far as my transformation goes, I'd like to think that I've become less cynical, more discerning; less tolerant, more forgiving; less gullible, more embracive. Yup, definitely changing for the better.

I wish I could take a peek into the future because I'm completely clueless about the path ahead, but I obviously can't. So yeah, may 2009 be another bountiful year filled with love and joy and all that jazz. Happy new year!

And I quote

2008-12-30T21:50:00.012+08:00

OMG WTH LOL!

Excerpts from Mag's blog:

30 Dec, 01 18

thank god i was two metres away when i burped out really loud
ops, i forgot that i am in her room now

30 Dec, 02 58

okay before i start , i'll clarify - i am not les.
gekk has skinny hot legs man
i know she's going to whack me, pinch me,
or whatever
she's violent please

Wow, I didn't know she actually tries to stifle her burps around me. Yeah, it's one of my pet peeves, burping. I think twice as gross as farting, and I almost never burp out loud.

The girl really thinks that I am a pinching, slapping madwoman, what the hell. But all is forgiven with that hot legs line, hohoho ;p.

Last night was a haze. I have been feeling incredibly unmotivated of late, and that sucks. I need to do well. I know I won't be getting into any prestigious local university at any rate, but I need to show myself that I can do it. And do it I have! I just have to keep this up and console myself that I could have done better.

Damn, I'm all sedated right now from the Service report but yay, I'm supping with Mag, Dansen and maybe even Leslie later! It's a long overdue reunion!

Terence shared a story with us today. I really like this one, so I'll be nice and share it with you.

Elephants, unlike tigers and lions, are not kept in enclosures. Instead, they are chained to the ground by a single nail. You would think that the elephant, what with it being one of the strongest mammals around, would be gone within seconds, but that hasn't been the case. The reason behind this? They had been chained when they were infants, when they hadn't been able to muster enough strength to break free. They had all once tried to escape, but as their attempts had time and time again been proven futile, they gave up hope. The memory of the nail pinning them down got locked in their heads, thus they don't ever bother trying to escape even after they are fully grown and wield great power.

But should the day come when an elephant needs to take flight in the face of danger, it will realise its true strength and never be chained by a nail again.

I hope the story didn't lose its flavour, and that you get the moral behind it (of course you got it, duh).

I have always known that to live life fully, you have to immerse yourself in the unknown and crush mental barriers, but the Cameron trip really re-enforced the whole idea. I'm very much the city slicker, but scaling Gunung Brinchang brought me this crazy wave of sublimity that I could never have gotten playing pool or shopping. I know the mountain is a mere 3.5km but it felt like I was on the top of the world up there! Man, everyone should try it!

Oh hey, here's another one:

A blonde girl calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger".

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then...."

he sighed,

"...let's put all these Frosties back in the box"

Cue guffaw! OK, Terence didn't tell us that. Uncovered a whole lot of blonde jokes googling the elephant story online (still didn't find it though- look, I wrote it for you!).

One last one for the road:

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"

LOL.

Rant

2008-12-29T06:18:00.002+08:00

This report is by far the toughest report I have ever done! Thought I could quickly whip up some fluff and serve it but this is killing me. No, really. Club's membership capacity is reached but I'm still supposed market it? Goodness, I'm not even a marketing student! And yeah, I'm not an experienced businesswoman, so how in the blue hell am I supposed to know how to improve the club's facilities, huh?

Why don't you just flush my diploma down the toilet right now? Seems like that's what this project was engineered to do.

Fug Fog

2008-12-27T21:19:00.012+08:00

So Isabel and I conducted our service survey today, and frankly, most of the staff's attitudes sucked. Maybe it was because we didn't look like we were guests, I don't know, but that's no reason for that GM-looking guy to treat me like dirt. That's OK, Victor, you can make up for it by treating me to a spread the next time I come around as your Michelin mystery guest.

I don't know how to not come off sounding like a lusty teenager, but me being alone in the gym, which was located in a desolated, dingy corner of the hotel, with the resident trainer did spark off some illicit thoughts. Hey, wait, no, I wasn't fantasizing getting down and dirty with the guy! I just thought the scene made for good erotica! The images weren't explicit or anything, and I wasn't in the picture at all! OK, now I'm just digging myself in deeper, aren't I?

Alright, someone please tell me how to eat a Chupa Chups lollipop gum? I can't bite into it! What's wrong with the damn thing- too thick a skull? I have never failed to bite into any sweet before! I'm more of an instant gratification person, and I want my sugar rush now!

One Up

2008-12-25T15:42:00.005+08:00

My abdominal muscles are aching from all the vigorous coughing I have been doing; my cough pursued me from Singapore to Malaysia and back. Other than that little damper, the trip pretty much rocked!

The night/ dawn trek up Gunung Brinchang was exhilarating!

Maybe someone shone their torch at the trees and caused me to get possessed or something, because about an hour into the trek, I became fixated with reaching the summit. That incredible buzzing feeling was at it again, and all I wanted to do was tear my way through the mountain. That desire itself is a miracle- in my usual state of mind, I'd rather watch paint dry.

The last quarter of the trek was the most sublime experience! Everyone was surging towards the peak fueled by pure adrenalin, exhaustion forgotten. You are bursting with euphoria upon reaching the summit, your highest point of the day, and you can't help but scream. You are right up there with your friends, a smile perpetually stretched wide on your face, greeted by the rising sun, enveloped by the clouds. You are on cloud nine.

It was freakass fantastic!

Call me ungrateful, but I was really getting sick of all the "Are you okay?"s thrown my way. Apparently my cough was so bad, everyone couldn't resist asking the same question again and again. I know they meant well, but asking once to show concern is enough. I'm not a kid, I can take care of myself; help is for when I really need it. And if you're not going to render help, why bother asking?

I guess I wasn't the easiest person to get along with during the trip, what with my new found tsking habit (am trying to snuff it out) and short temper. And since Weewee and Belinda could tolerate me, it means we'll be friends forever, right? Yay ;D!

Anyways, I definitely got more out of the trip than I had bargained for, and I'm really thankful for that. This is going to sound real corny, but some self-discovery really did happen back there. I might share a little in bits and pieces, but most of it shall remain privy to yours truly. What, you mean you're actually curious?

It's Christmas! And what I want for Christmas is a christmas tree- I didn't get (get as in buy, not receive it from Santa) it again this year.

Venture

2008-12-17T02:04:00.004+08:00

In sixteen hours, I shall be embarking on my first backpacking trip! I'm not sure if this is something to be proud of, but my bag's girth is larger than mine. I can't help but pack extra because I'm afraid that my laundry won't dry.

I'm thrilled with the idea of going to plantation after plantation and hunting down the Rafflesia flower (I'd love to see it, even though mere pictures creep me out- its colour reminds me of skin disease and it just looks plain evil), but I can't believe how much trekking we are going to have to do! I much prefer the urban jungle- waterlogged shoes and soggy everything don't really appeal to me. I'm really excited about exploring a foreign country though; the food, the traditions, the social culture, everything!

My service assignment is staring at me now. I need to complete it before the trip. It's 2.5k words- I think I can sum the whole thing up in less than 500.

Relevancy

2008-12-16T02:36:00.002+08:00

It is one thing to expect, and quite another to have come to expect.

The latter makes you feel more cheated- you were led to believe, led to disappointment.

Sore throat killed the junk food fiend

2008-12-10T23:08:00.002+08:00

I am dying for a bag of Ruffles (amazingly it's Ruffles, not Lays, this time). Oh wait, my title says I'm already dead.

Lesson summary

2008-12-09T00:41:00.004+08:00

It's been a lazy week, and I'm not quite sure I like it. I mean, of course having leisure time is good, but what I have on hand is way too much time. Actually, I don't. I just like to leave things to the last minute because I hate doing official work (it just puts you in a different state of mind and you want to rebel- even more so if the work is boring) and like the rush hour rush.

I was just looking through my draft posts, and hey, there's one dated 26 Nov, 01 08, with Yading's name on it. It starts with Jeez, Yading- the rest, you don't wanna know.

This whole MP-SIP ordeal taught me a few things, none of which I can jot down in my SIP/ MP log books. I learnt the importance of picking my battles and weighing the pros and cons, to see things from both a macro and microview, and that being manipulative isn't necessarily a bad thing. And most of all, I learnt to make do with what I've got.

Yeah. Just in case I backtrack into wide-eyed innocence (ditch that skeptical look, will ya?) again.

Scene

2008-12-03T15:41:00.002+08:00

It's 3 Dec, and the whole MP fest is over! Alright!

I'm positive the MP Log Book is useless, and my CCOM report was a mess, but it's all over now! Thank God!

Guess who's going backpacking in Cameron Highlands this holidays? Yep, I've decided to come out of retirement for six days!

It sounded like a drag at first because I'm not all that into trekking (I was so bored during that second ELF Bukit Timah trek. I can't believe the Cameron guys are going again- on Pear and I's rare weekend anniversary, no less!), and I couldn't care less if I saw a Rafflesia (ha, I say that now, but you can bet I'll be oohing and ahhing over it when I see it. If I make it past suffocating to death, that is). But yeah, they said there wouldn't be much of the hiking-trekking stuff, and exploring foriegn land sounds great!

I can't believe my parent's won't let me out of Singapore without any adults. I'm practically an adult myself! Add Mag's age to mine and hey presto, you've got a mature woman! Ok, I know it doesn't work that way, but I really can take care of myself!

So that wasn't the most mature and rational reaction I could've had. So I'm a total buffoon in the kitchen. So I'm kinda laidback. So what.

People should really scrutinize themselves before they start poring over every intricate detail of my inadequacies, and then some.

What have I done

2008-11-30T23:08:00.006+08:00

My parents are so mean, and I am so upset.

They won't allow me to go backpacking with Mag without a tour agency.

I could've been mature about it and calmly list mum all the reasons why I shouldn't have to pay just to get bogged down by a gaggle of old couples.

Instead, I screamed at her.

Running on empty

2008-11-28T01:42:00.015+08:00

With so many cool songs featuring the name Juliet (Check Yes Juliet, Love Story), I just might adopt that as my christian name.

And I can't concentrate. I'm all over the place googling anything and everything, spacing out on the bed and trying on my mum's old moccasins; basically doing everything except the darn report.

All that willpower seems to have escaped outta the window. Dang, I really need to do this!

02 00
Teacher X is a-rockin' but her handwriting drives me crazy. It reminds me of a frequency chart and I can't read it.

03 06
Will someone please tell me what I am supposed to write in my "methodology" part of a interior design project if I'm not supposed to mention what I had changed? I never thought a report could be so tough to write. I feel like withering up and dying. And my flower isn't channeling me any energy.

04 06
This is sheer abuse. For an unpunctual person I do seem to have a knack for whining - somewhat - on time every hour.

04 52
Alright, I've figured out how to phrase the Methodology section. I hope it's correct. I've ordered McDelivery for the third time this week. This ton of work is eating away at my pockets.

Running on determination; running dry

2008-11-27T17:34:00.016+08:00

Oh wow, I'm so glad that MP judging is over along with the Management and ClubR quizzes! MP report is the last lap, and I'm gonna make it to the finish!

I've been indulging in better food lately because I absolutely deserve it! In fact, I got myself a flower - I believe it's called a gerbera - just because. I chose thist fiery shade 'cuz red represents energy, and I certainly need some of that!

Looking at life through rose tinted glasses

Flowers grow in the direction of sunshine. What a subtle way of telling me that I am the sunshine :)!

Mum's retro shades are as flat as a pancake

I'm usually too lazy to upload photos so since I'm doing it now, I figured I might as well put up some during Belinda's birthday celebration and screenshots of the 3D MP stuff. I'll be nice and spare you the floorplans.

Potato tattoo masquerading as a pineapple tattoo

Aboriginally inspired tattoo of my name

Wuzzles, and Ruby being a spoiler

I made this (minus the chairs and humans)!

And this!

All while hating AutoCad. Must be divine intervention. Usually I would have died by polyline #44.

Hairline cracks

2008-11-24T00:17:00.013+08:00

Thanks to Teacher Y who introduced my class - or at the very least, me - to the game , Tonberry had a little Wuzzle competition to spruce things up a bit. It's so much fun!

I bet you're bored - otherwise you wouldn't be moseying around here - so try it! Answers are in white; highlight to view.

Shadow of doubt; hot under the collar; to have and to hold; beeline
Son of a gun; X marks the spot; home is where the heart is; just right
Identical twins; all in all; cry your way to the bank; holy cow

Addicted? More can be found here.

Basically I'm sharing this with two or less people here: Hui Shan and Joey. Because my other two readers Pear and Belinda have already done this. Ha. So yeah, a reward for visiting this humble blog.

Righto. Back to work.

I'm all out of juice. Just in time for reality.

Shape up or ship out!

2008-11-23T05:25:00.004+08:00

My little snack corner looks AWESOME! Apart from the fact that I can't seem to render it to it's true colour (it's now looking only half-realistic) and apply shadows, it looks friggin' good, I can't begin to tell you! I am so happy! All I have to do now is to add the chairs and people and tadah!

Now for the ISO room. I don't know what Yading did to the file, but moving the furniture is proving to be a big problem. And moving is one vital function in AutoCad. This is surreal; we've actually reached this point in our project. I had thought we would have switched to another project or something. We did this completely on our own, y'know- we're totally rockin'!

I hope the judges see the effort we've put in. I must present it in the best way possible. Everyone chose the easy way out, doing the periodic report thingamajig, but not us. We're tough!

Goodness, it's 05 36 now. Belinda's birthday card is done. Hurray. With any luck, I'll be able to sleep at 6. I don't think I'll be rendering the ISO room today. I don't want to be grumpy for the party tomorrow, and I need to pack my room.

Oh damn, I just realised I haven't finished my Service project. It's due on Tuesday. Can't it be due on Thursday? Obviously not, because there's no Service class on Thursday- that's Club & Resort day.

I'm talking like a drunkard. Probably because I feel kinda woozy now.

Toil, toil, toil.

Random thoughts scuttling through my head

2008-11-22T00:40:00.005+08:00

The best thing about weekends is that they're synonymous with boyfriend :).

Groan. I accidentally deleted the list (a SMS draft) of books that I want to read.

I wish I had a credit card/ paypal account to actually buy all the stuff in my online shopping bags.

Would I be able to finish a Mega Mac?

The house needs more junk food.

It's a good idea not to burn bridges.

Shitfest

2008-11-21T16:14:00.008+08:00

I swear AutoCad 2009 is retarded. It lags like crazy and spasms like an electrocuted bug; it's driving me nuts!

And the cheem functions - which were already quite alien to me - are presented differently from the 2006 version so Gek Teng the Antiquated is completely clueless on how to use them. Guides are fairly useless; I can do what I understand from them without reading them. They should provide us with a wizard, like the Microsoft paperclip that does tornado impersonations. Tornados are cool, right? Well, forget them anyways and show me how to work the damn camera!

I hate doing anything that's labeled as work, so as much as I loved doing interior design, this is really pissing me off. But I really need to do this. I have to pull up my socks and knock theirs' off. I gotta pull this off real good.

Repulsion

2008-11-21T01:26:00.004+08:00

Your MO never changes.

It's not going to go down that way this time. What's going down is you and your fucking conscience.

Major Pain-in-the-ass

2008-11-16T23:23:00.005+08:00

Weekdays are long and insipid while weekends are gone faster than you can say "bleach", and I hate it! I hate that I don't have anything to do except schoolwork, I hate that I have the concentration span of a three year old and I hate that I can only see Pear a full day per week even when I have nothing else on (which seems to be the case very often nowadays, but I wouldn't want to mess up my last sem)!

What am I saying?! I am supposed to be unfazingly optimistic and be utterly blind to everything that sucks, including half-cooked beansprouts and the zits on my forehead!

I am now attempting to spin gold from yarn from the spinning wheel that is my computer and failing badly because how can that be when I am here blogging away?

Alright. Enough. I need to pull myself together and get the bloody report done. Afterall, it's only eight pages; can't be that bad, right? Every percentage counts, because you never know when you're gonna mess up, and it'll be too late to salvage anything then. So yes, I have to - by Tim Gunn's words - make it work! This semester is gonna ROCK! My social life might be suffering, but my GPA has lived in shame for long enough, and that's gonna change... right?

Obviously my pep talking skills need some brushing up but that can wait because I am going to write that damn report right now.

Edit @ 01 49/
I can't believe I'm still stuck at the same segment of the report. I'm only a quarter done, and that's going by the word count. Which means I'm probably only one tenth done and definitely screwed.

Fashion Smashin'

2008-11-12T18:56:00.004+08:00

MP sucks, so I'm taking my 44th break.

I was feeling all artsy and inspired last night, so I came up with my Fashion Smashin' (Fashion Schmashion, geddit?) list. Here it is:

Argyle sweater
Mid-calf length skirt- yellow/ blue
Pointy heels- black
Scoop necked graphic tee- white
Cable knit sweater- cream/ grey
Plain ribbed tank- white
Tulip skirt- black
Dark wash jeans
Sunnies- black framed
Dress with thick bottom band- nude/ maroon
Black dress- alter the one in my closet
Peep toe heels

And I had the brilliant idea to make a collage out of the TCC coasters I've stolen, um, collected. Pretty and dotty, I like! I'll frame them with a big black photo frame from Ikea (if it isn't too expensive).

O. M. G. I type until very happy, then I read Mr Cheng's email- MP JUDGING IS ON 26 NOV! DIE! Why is it so early? Wasn't it supposed to be next year? I feel like one of those mad cartoons in which the stick man runs around raving like a lunatic and ends up banging into a wall- and he dies. Like us. Diediediedie!

Estranged.

2008-11-12T14:41:00.007+08:00

They rummaged madly through their baggage, ploughed through the bundle of presents and scrutinised the trail - and each other - in heavy suspicion.

Timeless gifts.

2008-11-09T22:09:00.005+08:00

It's fall fringing on winter- how on earth can the weather be so hot?

Hurray, I bought my birthday wallet today! It's none of the wallets featured in an earlier post. It's a true blue green Fossil, and I like it :)! Next year, I want a voucher that can relieve Pear of his next one year of NS. Remember it, everyone! I don't care if it's called bribery or is so expensive you have to rope my parents in- I want it!

Plagiarism seems to be happening at every dark corner nowadays. It's because good English is now enviable, isn't it? Unlike the past, when euu iz a iiidiiiiot was actually cool, grammar, vocabulary and wit is now in.

Are good linguistic skills sought after only because they are in trend? Will people be deflated of them when some harajuku language fashion comes along? I hope not, because grammar is not made up of paisley frocks and leggings.

Surprise!

2008-11-04T00:42:00.005+08:00

Woke up cranky today because I slept slightly past four. I should really stop trying to turn myself into a walking zombie.

I have come to a conclusion regarding one of the most fundamental things about myself that everyone should know, yet no one, myself included, did: MY FAVOURITE COLOUR. I finally know what it is! After years of not being to make my decision, it's...

yellow!

and green!

The purple is to confuse Pear. Dope him into believing that I am finally a convert, then making him see the yellow-green light. Heh heh.

I know yellow and green are not one colour, but they are riiiight next to each other on the colour spectrum, so ease up on me on this one, ok? But I still love all colours except for some shades of purple and beige.

While we're on the topic of what I like, I'd like to list down a few because I like telling people what I like! I like pool, bridge, fragrances, lingerie, quirky knick knacks, furniture and anything that's sprightly or pretty. And I'm into leather jackets, tulip skirts, skyscraper peep toes and wellingtons now! You'd probably never see me wearing them, but believe me, I am lusting.

I have caught a bit of a blogging bug. These few days have seen me jabbing away madly on the keyboard, and I like it. I like d bloggin' bug, yo.

I like antlers.

2008-11-03T00:46:00.013+08:00

I'm really fortunate that my mum passed her skinny genes to me because although I have a tiny appetite, which probably belongs to her as well, I have a proclivity to absently munch on junk food. I end up eating them by the truckload.

Things that will come back to haunt my butt twenty years later.

Halloween was spent at Fish&Co with Elvoodoosa, minus Bur. There wasn't any special deco, and the food didn't quite justify the price.

Han Jun gave us a Jack-o-Lantern containing a balloon each! I blew the balloon at home, but I couldn't tie it. I want to be able to do that by the time I am sixty-two. Retire already can tie balloons for grandchildren.

The clips look like eyebrows to me.

Preview of my head gear next Halloween.

(My mirror needs a good wipe!)

The reindeer antlers are hair clips- nifty, eh? I just might go as Fiona ('cuz Shrek's male) and Rudolf's by-product next year. I'll be a hybrid :B!

My mini revelation.

2008-11-02T03:01:00.004+08:00

Girls who are attached blog less. Rings true for two, at least. L is blogging a whole lot less now, as have I this past year, till I switched to this pretty little nook.

I chalk this syndrome down to alleviated angst and stress levels and an increase in estrogen, endorphin and whatever other hormones that are produced when you make puppy eyes.

I am quite the impulsive blogger; I tend to blog compulsively when I am upset or when I am - perhaps - subconsciously trying to put off doing something. Or when a thought hits me and I'm really excited about it. I used to code my frustration and rave about stuff in my posts, but now I have this ranting bin in the form of Pear, there isn't much of an urge to blog anymore.

I am a bloody sore loser and I oughta clean up my act. But I hate it when I do what I am taught to only to fail again and again. Can you think of anything more annoying! I suspect that would be being on the receiving end of my tantrums. Well, I'm gonna change that!